


we deserve a soft epilogue

by Persephatta



Category: Carmen Sandiego (Cartoon 2019)
Genre: Closure, F/M, Fix-It of Sorts, Friends to Lovers, Getting Together, Happy Ending, Hurt/Comfort, Idiots in Love, Mutual Pining, Post-Season/Series 04, Trauma
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-03-02
Updated: 2021-03-11
Packaged: 2021-03-15 11:13:57
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 11,263
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29807541
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Persephatta/pseuds/Persephatta
Summary: Carmen and Gray recover from their ordeal and discover they are better together than apart.---I took the outline of the series finale and coloured in the blanks.
Relationships: Gray | Crackle/Carmen Sandiego | Black Sheep
Comments: 38
Kudos: 87





	1. one

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: I do not own Carmen Sandiego, this is purely a work of fanfiction.

* * *

"For we deserve a soft epilogue, my love.

We are good people, and we've suffered enough."

**_Seventy Years of Sleep_ -** **Nikka Ursula.**

* * *

_she is immobilised, strapped to the lab table_

_she hears laughter, footsteps approaching_

_she strains against her restraints but can't break free_

_the laughter grows louder and from the shadows a figure emerges, the mind-wipe in hand_

_her own image laughs at her helpless state_

_she screams_

"Whoa, Carm, you alright?"

There is a hand on her shoulder and she seizes it, jerking it behind the offender's back. Adding pressure, she forces them to the floor, rolling from the couch on top of them, knee digging into their spine.

"CARM!"

She jolts, awareness pouring in. She is at the warehouse in Sandiego. Daylight streams in through the window.

Beneath her Zack flails.

She bolts upright, staggering backwards. "Zack! Oh god! I'm sorry!"

He rolls onto his back, rubbing his arm. "So much for my ninja training. Should've let you sleep."

She stares, horrified, hands shaking. "I'm so sorry."

"Eh, it's good." Zack clambers to his feet. "Teach me to keep my reflexes sharp."

"I hurt you."

"Nah, just surprised me."

She doesn't speak, the floorboards rip apart revealing the funfair below, eerie carnival music rises to meet them, and Zack hangs from a ledge, terror in his eyes as she presses down on his hand…

"Carm?"

The warehouse reforms and she staggers to the kitchen counter, gripping the edge to ground herself.

"Whoa, Carm, easy."

It is the first time she has been alone with Zack since Vienna. She can't look at him, not without remembering…

She is still putting the pieces together, who she _is_ and who V.I.L.E made her. Some memories unfold as simply as following a string, dot-to-dot. Some jump out at her like freaks in a funhouse, an assault of images leaving her nursing a migraine and a fresh dose of guilt.

Most of those six months are a blur. There are things she knows she did from A.C.M.E's reports but her mind can't seem to reconcile them with her own actions. It feels like someone else did them.

In a way someone else did. But she is just trying to escape the truth – that she did those awful things and has no idea how to make amends.

"Carmen…"

Zack is beside her, concern in his voice. She makes the mistake of glancing at him. The carnival lights spin before her. Bile rises in her throat. She doesn't understand how he can look at her with such kindness, without fear.

"Why don't you hate me?"

The words are out before she can stop them. His eyes bulge and she rushes to fix another mistake.

"I mean… um… no… I… uh… sorry… I…"

To her astonishment, he begins to laugh. "Carmen Sandiego tongue-tied. Never thought I'd see the day."

For some reason this strikes a nerve. "I'm human too."

His face collapses and her self-loathing increases tenfold.

"Zack, I'm sorry- "

"No Carm. You're right."

She freezes in an aborted gesture to… to… pat his shoulder… take his hand… as if he wants her touching him.

"All these years I've been treating you like some sort of superhero. I forget you're as human as the rest of us."

He looks at the ground. She lowers her hand.

To be honest, she liked that Zack and Ivy looked up to her – them believing her invincible gave her the courage to pull-off the more elaborate feats. She was the legendary Carmen Sandiego, impossible, unstoppable. It was exhilarating. It was terrifying.

She'd grown cocky and V.I.L.E caught-up to her. Now they are dealing with the fallout.

"I'm sorry I let you down," her voice cracks, "I'm sorry for the terrible things I did… for betraying you… for pushing you out that carriage…"

"Carm…"

Zack looks stricken. He has never seen her like this before. The Carmen he knows is always cool-headed and in-control.

"None of that was your fault. You were brainwashed! Zombified! That weren't you!"

"But it _was_ me!" Everyone keeps telling her otherwise, but it was _her_. At least her body, if not her heart. "I did those things! And worst of all I enjoyed it."

Zack eyes are the size of saucers and she might be sick if she had anything to throw up because now he knows.

"I don't remember much…"

It feels like a cop-out but it is the truth. It is difficult to recall what she must have felt at the time compared to the horror she feels now looking back. She gets traces of emotion: the thrill of the hunt... the sense of achievement with a successful heist… a rare spark of true happiness at a joke shared with the team… the blistering rage of betrayal...

She remembers watching Zack fall feeling vague satisfaction and then nothing at all, switching off the moment her objective was complete.

"I think I liked working for V.I.L.E… everything in the world belonged to me so long as I was daring enough to take it…"

"Makes sense."

Carmen splutters at his easy shrug. "M-makes… sense…?"

"Yeah, I mean I'm a thief too. I understand the rush." He fidgets, twisting his fingers. "It wasn't until you came that I really thought I could be… _more_."

"Zack…"

"No, Carmen, I need to say this…" he takes a deep breath. "I know you're human, ok. And I'm sorry I made you feel like… like you had to be more. You're just so amazing, yeah. You totally rule! But I uhh… I guess I took for granted that you'd always save the day… I never… I never really thought about whether one day you'd need saving yourself."

His expression is so earnest and full of remorse, tugging at her heartstrings – anymore and she will break.

"You don't need to apologise, Zack. You don't need to apologise for _anything_! Not after what I did."

"I'll stop if you do."

Her jaw clamps shut. Zack looks delighted at having rendered her speechless.

"I forgive you, Carm."

"Bu-but… but you can't!"

"I think I just did."

"I nearly killed you!"

"But you didn't!"

"But I tried to!"

His face flickers and she notices her knuckles are white, straining around the counter. Slowly, she takes a breath and releases, unclenching her fingers.

Zack's eyes are unfairly kind. "How many times are we going to have to say it? That wasn't your fault. That was brainwashed Carmen. If you'd control of yourself you never would've done it in a million years."

She drops her face into her hands. "But if… if any version of me is capable of harming the people I love... what sort of person does that make me?"

Zack is quiet for a moment. It feels like an accusation.

When he speaks his voice is steady. "You know when we watched that movie… the one with Captain America and the hot redhead chick?"

Carmen peaks through her fingers and nods, vaguely remembering the film from a movie night long ago.

"There was that bad guy with the wicked metal arm who turned out to be Cap's long-lost buddy. He'd been brainwashed by this evil organisation – _Octopus_ or whatever – into doing all these terrible things against his will. I remember you said he was a victim not a villain. Well, it's the same with you, Carm."

She chews her lip, lowering her hands.

"V.I.L.E messed with your mind, made you do things you never would in a million years. It weren't your fault, so go easy on yourself okay."

She sighs, offering up a small smile. "When did you get so wise?"

He flashes a proud grin, posing in a karate chop. "All part of my ninja training."

She lifts an eyebrow. "Shadowsan's actually teaching you?"

"You were gone half a year, Carm. I wore him down."

He looks so pleased at the prospect that she laughs, a genuine laugh.

His grin widens. "It's good to have you back, Carm."

Her stomach twists but her smile stays in place. "It's good to be back."

It's not a lie. It's just not the whole truth.

-v-v-v-

She is glad to have cleared the air with Zack. It eases some of her guilt. But although he has forgiven her, she is not sure she can forgive herself.

She sighs, flopping backwards onto her mattress, the contents of the A.C.M.E file spread around her. Her whole life has been a series of mysteries and now at last the answers are at her fingertips. Before she was starving, now she feels like Zack after an all-you-can-eat buffet.

Her mother's name is _Carlotta_.

Carmen's name is…

…well, it's _not_ Carmen, but that is too much for now. She is still trying to sort out which of her memories are real and which were planted by V.I.L.E. Throwing her true heritage into the mix only adds to her headache. But she had to know. She is glad she knows. She just needs to figure out what to do next.

As if sensing her crisis her phone starts to beep.

"Hey Player."

" _Hey Red_."

She smiles into her phone, some of the pressure easing at his voice.

The young hacker has been with her through all the major changes in her life; from Black Sheep to Carmen Sandiego. It will be weird no longer having him in her ear, but he deserves a break from high-stakes heists; a chance to have a semi-normal youth, to be with his family, and make friends his own age.

" _Thought you'd want to know your other oldest friend from your school days is scheduled for release_."

She stiffens, clutching the phone with both hands. "Gray…?...he …he's okay?"

In theory, she knows Gray survived. Chief explained the Crackle Rod had been set to stun. But when she closes her eyes at night she sees his terrified expression lit-up in green, sees his body hit the floor.

She killed him and walked away. Like with Zack, it is another thing she cannot forgive herself.

" _Yeah, he's recovered and is being released in a few days."_

She bites the inside of her cheek, tastes blood.

"Released… into custody?"

Gray is a criminal – he was already under arrest when V.I.L.E pulled him back into the life. She understands the justice system is just doing its job but the thought of Gray behind bars has her stomach crawling.

" _No._ "

"Wh-what?"

" _Seems A.C.M.E have awarded him a clean slate as thanks for his assistance in bringing down V.I.L.E …and the elusive Carmen Sandiego."_

Surprised, she chuckles. "I guess it's only fair after the stunt I pulled in Paris."

She hasn't let herself think of Gray. The fear that he might be dead, that she might have killed him was too great. Now she knows he is alive and well she allows her mind to wander...

Through all her scattered memories, Gray is the one fixed point. She doesn't recall heists so much as his voice in her ear, seizing every opportunity to make a pun… his victory smile over a job well done… his hand in hers as he helps her up… hiding from security in a cramped alcove, their bodies pressed against one another…

Maybe she should be angry. Whilst he had no say in the Faculty's choices, he was complicit in her re-conditioning. He stood-by while she was made to do terrible things.

That's not true.

She remembers enough to recognise Gray tried to steer her from her dark path, pleading with her to stop taking risks, intervening when she went too far subduing the guards, falling over himself to make her laugh, smile, focus on anything that wasn't V.I.L.E and their next heist.

_And_ she would sneer, brushing off his concerns with a cutting remark. Yet he stayed by her side, watching her back, protecting her from herself. He turned himself over to A.C.M.E, risking his freedom for hers.

And she would have killed him. She doesn't have any right to be angry.

" _Want to know the hospital address_?"

Carmen starts, realising she is still on the phone. "What?"

" _In case you want to call or visit… you might still catch him_."

_Catch him_. It seems one of them is always chasing the other.

She is not oblivious to the _thing_ between them. Black Sheep and Gray were friends. Carmen and Crackle were enemies. Trading easy comradery for lethal tension lit a spark that hadn't existed before (or maybe it had). Then he lost his memories and all she wanted was him back.

At first she hadn't been willing to accept her feelings towards him had changed; evolving from familial into something _more_. But after New Zealand she knew she could never let him go. And then in the Himalayas when she'd had to… she could no longer pretend it didn't hurt.

She feels something for Gray she feels for no one else – a magnetism, red reaching for blue. Maybe it is true; distance makes the heart grow fonder. Maybe all they are is a what-if, an itch to scratch. But she knows whatever this is won't be resolved if they keep running away from each other.

At the very least she owes him an apology. It is time she faced Gray and if he never wants to see her again then…

…then she will leave him alone, _for good_.

"Player… can you book me a flight to Morocco?"

She swears she can hear his grin. " _On it, Red_."

-v-v-v-

"YOU'RE LEAVING!"

Carmen winces at Zack and Ivy's combined shout. She is no good at goodbyes and considered leaving a note, but after all they have risked for her she couldn't simply walk away.

"With A.C.M.E handling V.I.L.E, Carmen Sandiego is no longer needed."

"But _we_ need you, Carm," Ivy protests.

"Trust me when I say you don't."

"If this is about the brainwashing- "

"No." She cuts Zack off. He looks sceptical. "I promise."

She musters a smile.

"Both of you have more than proven yourselves capable. I know I'm leaving the world in safe hands."

"B-but do you have to go?" Ivy stammers.

"You guys are the family I never had… but I have to meet my mother."

The siblings look crushed but they nod in understanding. She is really going to miss them; it will be too quiet without their boisterous cheer. But they have to move on at some point and Zack and Ivy deserve more than a life in shadows.

"It is time I had a family reunion of my own," Shadowsan announces, saving Carmen from further interrogation. "I will be returning to Japan."

"Aww, not you too, Shadowsan!" Zack exclaims "What about my ninja training?"

Shadowsan looks thoughtful, then, he hurls something at Zack.

The redhead yelps, flinching. When he dares open his eyes again he sees the projectile caught in his outstretched hand. His whole face lights up.

"WHOAAA! NINJA REFLEXES, YEAH!"

He performs a series of karate chops along with sound effects before Ivy swats him around the head.

"OW! IVY!"

His sister smirks. "Some ninja."

"I have always considered the path of the samurai far nobler." Shadowsan approaches the pair, gesturing to the projectile in Zack's hand.

They look and gasp, realising it is an A.C.M.E pen.

Carmen shares a smile with Shadowsan as the siblings proceed to _freak out_.

"A.C.M.E could use a pair of… _spirited_ and… _innovative_ agents such as yourselves, who are already familiar with criminal organisations like V.I.L.E," Shadowsan explains.

"You could certainly teach them a thing or two," Carmen grins.

Ivy whips round to the other woman, "B-b-but what about Team Carmen?"

Carmen places a hand on her shoulder "We might be going our separate ways for now but I will always have your backs."

Ivy beams. "And we'll have yours, Carm."

"GROUP HUG!" Zack throws his arms around them, squeezing tight. "You too, Shadowsan."

"I do not hug."

The three redheads exchange smiles and pounce. For all his skill, Shadowsan is easily overpowered, trapped in the trio's embrace. Their laughter is loud in his ears and if the corners of his mouth twitch upwards, _well…_ he will never tell.

-v-v-v-

Zack is a blubbering mess by the time they say their final goodbyes. Ivy has to hold him upright as she waves farewell to Carmen and Shadowsan.

The ex-con raises an eyebrow when he learns the latina's destination but makes no comment. When it is time to go their separate ways he turns to her with a smile.

"You far exceeded all my expectations. I could not be more proud."

Carmen, who has been trying so hard not to get emotional, bursts into tears. He holds her close, patting her on the back until she regains some self-control.

"I couldn't have done it without you," she sniffs.

His smile brings new life to his face, gentle and aglow with pride. "Yes, you could."

Parting with Shadowsan is harder than it is Zack and Ivy. Maybe it is because she relies on him, the same way they relied on her. She needs his guidance, the assurance he brings. He is the closest she has to a father and it is difficult to watch him walk away, unsure when they will next meet again.

Still, it must be done. He too deserves rest and redemption.

Carmen squares her shoulders and heads towards her gate. Morocco is a little out of the way for a trip to Argentina, but there is something she has to do first, someone she needs to see.

Carmen Sandiego is done running.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Reunion with Gray next chapter and Devineaux makes an appearance.


	2. two

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Who else has been coping with their Red Crackle series finale feels by re-playing Duncan Laurence's 'Arcade' and Olivia Rodrigo 'drivers license'?

"How are you feeling, Mr Calloway?" Devineaux inquires, leaning against the wall of the private hospital room.

Calloway gives him a bemused grin, dimples crinkling his cheeks. Devineaux bets he has all the nurses charmed with that boyish smile and Australian drawl. Chief certainly has a soft spot for the thief - and Devineaux hadn't thought Chief did soft.

"Alright, mate. And yourself? Didn't you fall from a window onto a car?"

"Ah, that was nothing."

Really, medical professionals are stumped, but Chase doesn't dwell on it. He is happy enough to walk away.

Calloway gives a disbelieving hum but doesn't push. If anyone understands not wanting to talk about something it's him.

"So, first a visit from the Chief, now you, what have I done to deserve special attention?"

The real Calloway is much cockier than his amnesic counterpart led them to believe. Although Devineaux knows he was doing his job and would not have acted differently, having learnt the reason for Calloway's memory loss, he can't help feeling somewhat responsible.

Not that he is going to admit to something so ridiculous, but he considers this visit an unspoken apology.

"Helping to bring down the world's largest criminal organisation isn't enough?"

The smile falters. "Wasn't me, mate."

"That's not true."

Devineaux pushes off the wall, taking a step closer. Calloway's gaze flits to him and then away, fingers drumming an erratic rhythm atop the sheets.

"Without you we never would have stopped _la femme rouge_ and discovered V.I.L.E's base of operation."

"I wasn't trying to stop V.I.L.E, I just wanted Carmen to be herself again."

Devineaux knows as much but it is strange for the thief to harbour any loyalties to V.I.L.E after what they did to him. Apparently, putting his brain through a blender wasn't enough. But doing it to Sandiego was.

Devineaux shrugs. He is no psychiatrist.

"The things we do for love, ey."

Calloway looks at him, sharply.

Devineaux waits, curious to see what he will do. Surely he won't deny it? Even Devineaux can tell the man is heels-over-head for the crimson shadow.

Calloway seems to realise this as well and shakes his head, fringe falling in his eyes. "Hehe, yeah."

Devineaux rocks on his heels, hands in his pockets. "Sooo… what now?"

"Trying to keep tabs on me, Agent?" This time the smile reaches his eyes.

It is little more than a week since the incident at the museum, although with all the excitement rounding up V.I.L.E it feels longer. Calloway is scheduled for release soon. Devineaux is unsure how wise it is to let a known criminal and former V.I.L.E operative walk free but he is not going to question Chief's orders. (She really has taken a shine to the thief).

"No, no, just… can you blame me for being curious?" He flaps his hands. "We have been on this crazy chase since Paris and now it's at an end… what will Carmen Sandiego do now there is no V.I.L.E?"

Calloway shrugs. "Beats me, mate."

Devineaux blinks at him. "B-but… aren't you going with her?"

Calloway gives him a strange look; his smile is bright but his eyes are downcast. "No…? Carmen's destined for far greater things in life and I'd only complicate that."

Devineaux can practically hear the brakes screech as his thoughts come to a stop.

" _Excusez-moi_?" He scratches his head. "Have I misunderstood?"

Calloway stares at him, perplexed, and perhaps a bit wary.

Devineaux begins to pace. "You were in crime school together, _no_?"

"V.I.L.E Academy, yeah."

"And then she defected and you tracked her down?"

"There was some time in-between- "

"She left you on the train where I found you and then V.I.L.E erased your memory?"

Calloway winces, lifting a hand to his head. With a grimace Devineaux ploughs on.

"Then she found you again and A.C.M.E became aware of your connection."

"Uhh…"

"After our attempts to restore your memory you escaped and in your disorientated state wound up in jail. Carmen then rushes to your rescue but V.I.L.E gets to you first and you return to their ranks. Months later Carmen is brainwashed into becoming an agent of V.I.L.E and you and her go on quite the shopping spree before you decide enough is enough and beg for our help."

"I didn't beg…"

Devineaux scoffs. "Please, you were pathetic, not even the Chief could refuse those sad, puppy eyes."

Calloway pouts but doesn't protest.

"And now, after all the trouble of trying to return Carmen's memories, including landing yourself in hospital, you are simply going to _walk away_?"

Calloway has the gall to shrug. "Yup, pretty much sums it up."

" _Mon Dieu!_ You are an _imbécile_!"

"Hey! I know what that means."

Devineaux slaps his forehead. "Ugh, you two have been chasing each other all over the globe, and now you have the chance, you won't even ride off into the sunset together!"

(So he's a romantic, sue him. He has to read something on those long flights.)

Calloway gawps at him. "You got a few kangaroos loose in the top paddock, mate."

"I have no clue what that means. But what I do know is _this_!" He points a finger at Calloway. "When you love someone as much as you clearly do Carmen Sandiego, you don't simply walk away! You tell them! You fight for them!"

"Hey, I'm here aren't I?" Calloway gestures to the hospital bed. "I did fight for her and now she's back in control of her own destiny and gets to live her own life. I'm happy for her."

"So why have you not gone to her?"

Calloway shoots him a bland look. "Hospital bed, mate. Plus, I don't know where she is. Carmen finds me if she wants to…"

Devineaux pauses. "You mean she hasn't visited?"

Calloway shakes his head. The puppy dog eyes are back.

"Contacted you? Sent an encrypted message?"

Another shake of the head.

_Ugh_. It's a shame doctors can't treat heartache.

"I don't believe this! That girl was weeping over your corpse - well, it wasn't actually your corpse, but you certainly looked dead…"

Calloway's head snaps up. "WHAT?"

"You were out cold. She thought she'd killed you."

Devineaux hasn't forgotten Sandiego's fractured wail when she laid eyes on the fallen Calloway. She dropped beside him, scrambling for a pulse, pleading his name, and released a stuttered exhale when she found it.

Gone was the legendary Crimson Ghost, in her place a very human, very shaken Carmen Sandiego, who had been tricked into doing something she couldn't undo to someone she deeply cares for.

It felt intrusive watching her in that fragile state and Devineaux turned away to help Julia. But it is plain to him Sandiego is as smitten with Calloway as he is her.

The ex-con's voice yanks him back to the present. "How were you conscious for any of this? You fell out a window!"

"Eh, we French are made of hardier stuff than you English."

"I'm Australian."

"Bah, same difference! And we're getting off track." Devineaux massages his brow. "If I had to hazard a guess - and I am a top A.C.M.E detective - I'd wager she hasn't been to see you because she feels guilty for almost killing you."

"It wasn't her fault," Calloway says, quietly.

"Tell her that! And while you're at it, tell her how hopelessly in love with her you are!"

"Hopeless is right." Calloway slumps against his pillows. "Look mate, I appreciate the sentiment but you're barking up the wrong tree. Carmen and I… it's not going to happen."

Devineaux frowns. "You're not even going to try?"

Calloway throws his arms up in frustration. "Try for what? She's Carmen Sandiego and I'm… I'm… still trying to figure out who I am…"

He looks lost.

Devineaux takes a tentative step forward. "Perhaps that's not such a bad thing."

Calloway's fist slams down on the bed rail. " _Seven months_! Seven months Carmen was under V.I.L.E's influence and I did nothing. Because I liked it, having her there. I liked being partners again. I did all those things, committed all those crimes of my own volition. I'm not a good person but Carmen _is_. She deserves far better than me."

He bows his head, wallowing in self-pity.

Devineaux has had enough. "So be better! Become someone she deserves! You have a chance now without V.I.L.E. You can be something else, someone else."

"I tried being someone else," Calloway grimaces. "I ended back with V.I.L.E. Face it, I'm a no-good thief and that's all I'll ever be."

Devineaux heaves a sigh. "When this all began I didn't like myself much either. I was brash and bull-headed. I talked over others, dismissed Agent Argent's ideas. I wilfully blinded myself to the good Carmen Sandiego was doing and my interference endangered her mission."

He runs a hand over his jaw, recalling his past behaviour with a wince.

"I have tried to learn from my mistakes, to be more open-minded and considerate towards others. I'm not sure I'm worthy of those close to me... but I will continue to try…" he spreads his palms, "It's all we can do."

"Wow, that was... profound."

Devineaux clears his throat, straightening his tie. "Ahem… well... I may not know a lot but I know if you are lucky enough to meet someone who makes your heart go like the _can-can_ you don't simply walk away! Not without telling her how you feel."

He resumes pacing, this time a bounce in his step as he flares his arms.

"Someone like that, you buy her flowers, the biggest bouquet in her favourite colour. You shower her in chocolates and the tiny little pastries that she loves. You take her to the places of her dreams and listen to her, really listen, as she shares her passions with you."

He presses his hands to his chest, the image of a woman forming in his mind.

"You let her know she is the smartest, most courageous, kindest person you know with a heart purer than gold and eyes that sparkle like a midnight sky. There is no sweeter sound than her laugh and the stars and sun cannot compare to the way she lights up when she talks about history!"

"Umm…"

Devineaux freezes, arms wrapped around himself, embracing someone who isn't there.

Calloway scratches his head. "Are we still talking about Carmen?"

Devineaux blinks. His words echo through his head and he jolts into action.

" _MON DIEU!_ JULIA!" He looks around, frantic. "I HAVE TO GO! I MUST- I NEED- FLOWERS! I MUST BUY FLOWERS! LOTS AND LOTS OF FLOWERS!"

Devineaux races from the room, thoughts full of Julia Argent.

"Good luck, mate," Gray calls after him.

Alone once more, the ex-con slumps back into his pillows and wonders what the hell just happened.

-v-v-v-

Graham Calloway strolls out of hospital and stops dead.

Carmen Sandiego stands across from him, hands shoved in the pockets of her red hoodie. He flashes back to a night in Sydney, Australia, except no ill-timed bus is there to snatch her from him.

She meets his gaze with a nervous smile. "Up for a drink?"

He stares in silence, long enough for doubt to creep into her expression, then he takes several strides forward and hauls her into his arms.

She goes stiff before easing into his embrace; her head drops onto his shoulder. His nose is in her hair, full with the scent of apricots. He doesn't recall a time they have been this close outside of immediate danger.

"You're alright," he mumbles.

She releases a choked laugh. "That's my line."

"I'm alright," he assures. Her fingers curl into his jacket.

He doesn't know how long they stay like that, people walking past them, but he holds on, stretching the moment into the infinite, trying to imprint her body onto his.

"Yes," he murmurs into her hair.

She makes an curious sound.

He pulls back, her grip tightening then relaxing when he doesn't break the embrace.

"Let's get that drink."

-v-v-v-

Her fingers dance over her glass unable to remain still. His own tap his leg, betraying his frantic pulse. They are both highly trained in espionage yet right now neither should attempt a game of poker.

They chose a café not far from the hospital, ordering some fruity concoctions. They are sat across from each other, only a table in-between but it feels like another ocean. He has so much to say and no clue where to begin.

"Carmen- "

"Gray- "

They cut off, both glancing down at the table.

"So, I hear you're a free man." Her finger circles the rim of her glass, the motion casual. He is entranced.

"As long as I stay outta trouble."

Some of the tension trickles from her shoulders. "That's not like you."

He chuckles, relaxing. "I didn't do too badly last time. Might as well give it another shot."

Her expression flickers and he can see her schooling it to appear neutral. "Any plans?"

Something in her voice tips him off; this is more than a simple question.

He picks up his mug, mirroring her own casual demeanour. "Dunno. Chief offered to pull some strings, get my job back at the Sydney Opera House, no questions asked, but I'm still undecided."

He thought about it while he was lying in that hospital bed with nothing better to do. With V.I.L.E out of the picture he can't go back to thieving, not with A.C.M.E rooting out the criminal underworld. But going back to the theatre isn't any more appealing. Graham Calloway may have been content to lead an electrician's life but Crackle is not.

He doesn't know how to explain this to Carmen. He remembers her look of disappointment in the Himalayas when he chose V.I.L.E over her.

"I'm surprised A.C.M.E didn't try to recruit you?"

He blinks, trading snowy mountain peaks for sweltering sunshine.

Carmen looks at him from under her lashes. "What with your talents and all."

He preens, stomach swooping. He knows Carmen is aware of his skillset (she trusted him in New Zealand despite the risks), but when they were running missions together for V.I.L.E she acted indifferent, never uttering so much as a _good job_ or _thank you_.

She was like any other V.I.L.E operative (except El Topo and La Chevre, who never ran out of good things to say about the other), full of herself and focused on the mission. He had craved her approval. Now he has it.

"As good as I look in a suit, I think I need a break from shadow organisations with four-letter acronyms."

Carmen raises her glass. "Here, here."

That's interesting. Gray leans forward, arms folded. "Not suiting up with A.C.M.E? Thought you might introduce some colour."

She smiles into her drink. "As you say, I need a break from the shadows."

"So you're here to soak in the sunshine."

"Actually, I'm on my way to Argentina."

He raises his eyebrows. "Bit of a detour."

"Yesss…" She lowers her drink, staring at the colourful liquid a while before she lifts her gaze to his. "My mother is in Buenos Aires."

Gray propels out of his seat. "Your mother?! Crikey, Carmen! That's amazing!"

She pushes a lock of hair behind her ear. "A.C.M.E found her for me."

He tilts his head, noting the lacklustre response. "Isn't that a good thing?"

"Yes," she replies, hastily. "It is… just… it's a lot to take in."

She untucks the same strand of hair, fiddling with the ends before returning it to her ear. Gray remembers how nervous she was back at the Academy, leading up to their exam results, and how she tried to hide it.

He leans forward, channelling sincerity into his voice, praying he comes across reassuring. "She's going to love you."

Carmen traces a circle on the table. "She wanted a different life for me. A normal life."

He leans across the table, making sure her gaze stays locked with his. "Carmen, you took down a global crime syndicate! She'll be proud!"

Those heather grey eyes flicker to his, light shining through them like a crack in her armour. "You really think so?"

He should pick his words wisely but what he blurts out is "I can't imagine anyone not loving you."

Her eyes go wide and he realises what he has revealed. Blood rushing to his face, he scrambles back in his seat, knee jerking into the table and causing some of their drinks to splash.

"Ah shhi- "

"Come to Argentina."

Gray almost topples out of his chair. " _Whaat_?"

She bites her lip and he is momentarily distracted. "Come to Argentina… with me."

His voice seems to have wandered off, it takes a few tries to summon it back. "Y-you want… you want _me_ … to come with… come with you to meet… meet your mother…?"

"I…" She looks as off-balance as he feels. "...I could use the back-up."

He tries for a chuckle. "And you pick me?"

"It can't be any worse than jumping out a plane with no parachute… right?"

He stares at her and he is elsewhere…

…on the train to Paris, pleading with her to return to V.I.L.E, to return to _him_ …

...in a plush suite in the Himalayas, Carmen beseeching him to leave with her…

…at the museum in Casablanca, Gray forcing the mind device on Carmen's head, begging her to come back…

One of them is always trying to catch-up to the other but now Carmen is here asking him to go with her to Argentina…

"When do we leave?"

She visibly sags, a smile warming her face. He feels like he is flying too close to the sun.

"Are you staying somewhere?"

He nods. A.C.M.E were kind enough to set him up in a hotel near the hospital, until he decides on his next move. He has yet to check in but the few belongings he took with him to V.I.L.E should have been transferred over.

"I haven't booked the tickets so we can go whenever you feel ready."

Her composure has returned. Except there is a spark to her now that wasn't there before, tugging at the edges of her smile. He feels it too - the current fizzing through his veins.

They lean towards each other over the table, his knee brushing against hers. He wants to tell her he would follow her anywhere but they both remember a time he didn't.

"There is nothing keeping me here," he says instead. "Figure you'll be eager to meet your mum."

She nods, but he sees how her face tightens, the jitter in her hands undisguised. Gray wonders if it is better being an orphan with no parents to disappoint. Not that he thinks Carmen could ever be a disappointment, but he understands the fear.

Before he can think of something to say - whether he should say anything - Carmen leans forward, eyes twinkling.

"Best make the most of the city while we're here. Up for some sightseeing?"

It's an obvious deflection but he isn't going to force her to talk if she isn't willing. Instead, he flashes his most charming grin.

"Sightseeing? But the prettiest sight is already before me."

She snorts, giggling. Working in an Opera House, he has heard many great musical compositions, but nothing compares to her laugh.

She graces him with a sly smile. "You should try the view from here."

He laughs so hard he almost chokes and all the while Carmen beams at him from across the table putting the sunset to shame and casting out the shadows. He feels lighter than he has in months. Maybe Devineaux was right. Maybe it can be this simple.

"I've missed you."

It slips out before he can stop it. Carmen looks startled and he could kick himself for ruining the moment. Then her expression settles into something soft and all the air whooshes out of his lungs.

He is Australian born, presently in Africa dammit, but he has never known warmth like the look she is giving him now.

She takes his hand in hers. "I've missed you too."

It is simple. It is everything.

He looks at their fingers interlocked, the different hues laced together.

_Don't let go_ , the mantra which has pursued them all these years, now, finally, here they are.

He rubs his thumb across her knuckles and holds on.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There is at least one more chapter.


	3. three

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here it is, I hope this heals your broken hearts and gives us all the peace we deserve.

_tiny dots crawl across the ground below, looking like ants from this height_

_Zack hangs suspended from the Ferris Wheel, blue eyes blown wide with fear_

_her foot grinds down on his hand_

_his grip falters and he falls, screaming all the way down_

_Shadowsan slumps before her_

_green light dances across the water, the Crackle Rod sparks in her hand_

_she lunges forward and strikes Gray_

_he cries out, every nerve in his body electrified, burning a hole straight through his chest_

_his charred corpse hits the ground_

_alongside the bodies of Zack, Shadowsan, Ivy, Player, Devineaux, Jules_

_she looks down at the Eye of Vishnu and sees herself, grinning triumphant_

_her coat sleeves bleed onto her hands and she drops the jewel_

_it shatters into a thousand pieces and the laughter of a thousand Carmen Sandiego's fills the room, deafening, overpowering_

She shrieks.

"Crickey!"

Gravity shifts and she's falling, falling...

Arms whip out to catch her.

"Whoa, Carmen! Heyyy."

She is still screaming but there's no sound, like some venquilitrist trick she hears her voice echoed back at her, that same chorus of laughter.

She thrashes, trying to fend off the attack. It is dark and she can't see a thing, her senses going wild.

"Whoa, easy, easy."

The hold on her arms tightens and she reacts with renewed force. A weight plonks itself down on her waist, trapping her legs, even as she tries to kick whatever it is off.

"Whoa, buckaroo. Carmen, it's me. It's Gray."

_Gray_

The name flips a switch and she goes still. As she blinks into the dark she is able to make out familiar features; chiselled cheekbones, crinkled eyes, the flop of a fringe.

"Gray?" She croaks, throat dry and scratchy.

"It's me, I'm here."

She sees the sparks as they scorch his chest, his face illuminated green, twisted in a scream.

"GRAY!"

She rolls her hips, toppling him off her and reversing their positions. She scrambles at his chest, searching for the wound she is sure is there, a singed circle where his heart should be. She slides a hand under his shirt-

"Whoa!"

-but feels only flesh and muscle, a couple of minor scars but none as severe as the Crackle Rod.

Her breaths come quick, _too quick_ , none of the air seems to reach her lungs.

"I don't… I don't understand… where is it, Gray? ... _where is it_?"

There is a hand on her shoulder, pushing her back. "Look at me, Carmen. Look at me."

The bedside lamp switches on. She blinks, adjusting to the dim light. It comes back slow… the hotel room in Casablanca… there was only one bed…

Gray argued she should take it but Carmen protested he couldn't sleep on the floor after being hospitalised. Eventually they agreed to share, keeping to their separate sides. Now she is on top of him.

She is suddenly conscious of sweat, clammy on her skin.

Gray shuffles into an upright position, reclining against the headboard. He watches her through tired eyes, the same shade as hot coco. She remembers how they looked with their light snuffed out.

"Gray…"

She doesn't look away, even as his hand moves to her cheek, wiping away tears she hadn't noticed fall.

"It's all right, I'm safe, we're both safe."

His voice rolls through her like waves on the shore. She wants to burrow herself inside his warmth.

"I killed you," the confession rings like a gunshot.

He pulls his hand from her face, going limp at his side. The other rubs up and down her shoulder, chasing out the cold.

"It was a bad dream."

"No." He doesn't understand. "I _killed_ you."

"Huh, I think I would've noticed that," the corner of his mouth curls up, "Care to perform a thorough examination?"

Despite everything, she snorts.

It is not enough to settle the sickly churning in her stomach and she looks away, unable to bear the affection in his gaze.

"Gray…" she says again, his name her only anchor in a maelstrom of thoughts.

"That's me."

Her heart convulses.

" _H-how…_ " she chokes.

His hand pauses on her arm. "How… what?"

"How are you here!" The exclamation rips out of her. " _Why…_ after what… after _everything_ I did?"

He pulls back his hand, dragging it through his hair. "You weren't yourself. V.I.L.E had you under their thrall."

His voice is so kind, so understanding. She wants to tear out her hair.

"But I did those things. I became that person. I know V.I.L.E messed with my mind but… but… if it was really so against my nature… shouldn't it have been impossible for me to do those things?"

"That's not how brainwashing works."

She drops her head.

"Carmen," his hands land on her shoulders. "You were raised by V.I.L.E, at the heart of their operations, by the Faculty themselves, and you still figured out what they were doing was wrong and dedicated yourself to stopping them. Do you have any idea how amazing you are?"

Her eyes flick to his; he looks so earnest, as if he believes in her with the whole of his heart, even after she tried to burn it out.

Something must show on her face because he sighs, hands drifting down her arms until they are palm to palm.

"I have nightmares too."

She stiffens. If he tells her he is terrorised by the memories of her attacking him she doesn't know what she will do. Probably run. It's what she does best.

"I have nightmares where the memory device doesn't work and you remain V.I.L.E's perfect soldier forever."

She releases a shuddering breath.

"You saved me," she reminds him as much as herself.

He scoffs. "Yeah, seven months down the line, I should have done something sooner."

"I should have told you the truth when we met in Sydney."

"You were trying to spare me from myself… the moment I got my memories back I chose to rejoin V.I.L.E. I did plenty bad and without the loss of freewill as an excuse. Worst of all was standing-by while V.I.L.E made you their puppet."

Her heart clenches at the shame and disgust in his voice, eyes downcast and weary. He looks as he did in the Himalayas, when he tried to convince her he belonged with V.I.L.E. If only she'd listened then, instead of running before the heartbreak could set in. She might have realised he was trying to convince himself.

She leans forward, squeezing his hand. "If things had been different, if it hadn't been V.I.L.E, I would have liked running with you again."

Gray lifts his head, surprised and… uncertain.

She attempts to dispel those doubts. "Being on the same side, working together towards a common goal… that's what I wanted. I missed my best friend and when you were Graham it was so hard not to pull you back into the fold."

"Why didn't you?" His voice is rough, not just from sleep. "I wanted to help you… _Graham_ wanted to help…"

"Because having Carmen Sandiego in your life would have only complicated things. You had a fresh start, I wasn't going to mess it up by being selfish." She draws in a long breath and exhales. "The difference between you and me, Gray, is I didn't want you to get your memories back."

It is her turn to look away, eyes drifting to the window, cracked to let in the cool air. The curtains ripple with the breeze.

"That's not true. Carmen…" He tugs on her hand, coaxing her to look at him. "You might not have wanted me to be V.I.L.E but you wanted me to be Gray. I didn't understand then why you insisted on calling me Gray. But even though I kept correcting you, it felt right."

Carmen's heart flutters though she doesn't quite understand why.

"When V.I.L.E brought you back I didn't care about the how, I was just stoked we were together again. I thought it'd be like old times… but it wasn't you…"

Carmen doesn't want to remember how cold she was to Gray. She wasn't cruel until the end but she was selfish and arrogant, she risked him along with herself and scoffed at his concern.

"I'm sorry- "

"You don't need to apologise." His voice is uncharacteristically hard. "Not for what they did to you."

She doesn't think she has ever seen him so fierce. Not since the train to Paris and even then it was obvious his anger was borne from betrayal. This is different.

He sees her surprise and sags, the previous inferno dimming to a smoulder. "We could carry on in circles playing the blame game but I think we've wasted enough time trying to catch-up to each other."

He lifts his hand, brushing back her hair. His fingers linger there, caught in ruddy strands.

"Let's just call it even."

The adrenaline from her nightmare has ebbed and Carmen is exhausted.

"Okay."

She drops her head onto his chest. The change in position jostles his fingers further into her hair and he combs out the tangles; his other arm slips around her waist.

The silence settles around them, not strained but peaceful in a way she has not known. She takes comfort in his heartbeat. _He is alive_ and _he is here._

The rhythmic brush of his hand through her hair lulls her into a drift, sleep pressing in. Gray is warm and safe and she buries herself in him, letting her fears blow away, at least until morning.

She is half in a dream when she feels his lips graze the top of her head.

"Sweet dreams, Carmen."

She does not wake again that night.

-v-v-v-

Carmen stirs close to noon, the city sounds reaching them through the window, a trickle of light peeking in past the curtains.

She is wrapped around Gray like a koala, one of his arms secure across her waist, the other thrown over the pillow. Their legs are tangled amongst the sheets and she carefully extracts herself, easing into a sitting position, trying not to disturb him.

He snoozes, open-mouthed. His hair sticks up at odd angles and she can't resist running her fingers through the soft locks. Watching as he wakes slow, blinking as he drinks her in.

"...you real or am I still dreaming…?"

Her lips curve into a smile. "Real.

To prove the point she tiptoes her fingers across his chest to his shoulder and flicks him on the nose.

"Oi!" His hand flails, attempting and failing to swat her.

She laughs, joy bursting out of her chest. "Shadowsan would be ashamed."

Gray grins. "It's all about misdirection."

Something thuds against the back of her head. A pillow, which he must have grabbed with his other hand.

She narrows her eyes. "Don't pick a fight you won't win."

She yanks the pillow from under his head and shoves it into his face. Gray releases a muffled squawk, thrashing, before he manages to wrap his legs around hers and flip their position.

"I have a few tricks up my sleeves," he declares, smugly, as he pins her wrists.

She tests his grip, his hold is strong. "So you were paying attention in class."

"Hey, out of the two of us, I'm the one who graduated."

"And yet I've bested you everytime."

She twists her leg around his and has him on his back, her hips straddling his, before he knows what is happening. She grins down at him, triumphant.

Her hair spills onto the bed, framing his face. He stares, dazed. A single sunbeam lights his face, causing his eyes to glitter, flecked with gold, and she finds herself leaning in for a closer look…

He tenses beneath her, breath hitching, lips parted. She can't help glancing at his mouth… her throat closes up, hand flexing around the bedsheet…

They are so close. Her hair shields them from the world, just the two of them… his breath has her eyelashes fluttering, the tips of their noses brush…

A persistent trill shatters the moment and Carmen lurches upright.

She stares at Gray. He stares at her.

The beeping continues and the wires connect in her brain, sending her scrambling for her phone.

"Player…?"

" _Hey Red, how's Casablanca?_ "

"Better than the last two trips."

She shoots Gray an apologetic look. He shrugs and slinks out of bed, disappearing behind the door of the ensuite bathroom.

" _Well if you're looking to escape I can get you aboard a flight to Buenos Aires."_

"Thanks Player but I should stop treating you like my personal travel agent. We're not running missions anymore. You should enjoy your freedom."

" _You mean school, ugh._ "

"I bet your parents will be impressed to discover how much you know about geography and world cultures."

She laughs at his answering groan.

" _Let me feel like a super spy a little longer before I return to a life of homework."_

"You're homeschooled, Player, it's all homework."

" _Exactly._ "

She hears the shower turn on in the bathroom, fingernails grazing her lips.

" _Anyway, there's enough leftover from V.I.L.E's accounts to secure your stay in Buenos Aires. I think there's some poetic justice in their facilitating your reunion with your mom._ "

"Right." Carmen crashes onto the bed with a thump. "Guess I'll need to get a job."

" _You could always become a geography teacher._ "

"Ha ha."

It is something to think about. She can't rely on V.I.L.E's cashflow now that A.C.M.E have frozen all their assets. She has never had a real job before… she doesn't even have real credentials…

She chews on her nails, deciding it is a problem she can deal with later.

" _So should I book your ticket_?"

She glances at the bathroom door. "Make it two tickets."

" _Ahh_ ," she can definitely hear his grin, " _So I take it things went well with Crackle_?"

"Well he doesn't hate me so…" she tries for humour but it sounds strained even to her ears.

" _Everything okay?_ "

She rolls onto her side, knees drawn up to her chest. "No, it's good. I'm… it's good… Gray's good… we're good…"

" _Sounds good._ " Player's tone is flat.

Carmen bites the inside of her cheek. "Sorry, Player, can we talk later, I only really woke up…"

There is a pause in which she berates herself for being a poor friend.

" _Sure, Red,_ " he doesn't sound convinced but he doesn't push her. " _I'll book those tickets and get back to you. And if you want to talk… just call… and if you don't… call anyway._ "

Her smile is genuine if a bit watery. "I will. Thank you, Player… for everything."

" _Anytime, Red… I mean it._ "

They say their goodbyes and the line goes dead. Carmen lies there, clutching her phone, listening to the patter of the shower and Gray's faint humming.

Eventually the shower shuts off and moments later Gray emerges, dressed in his sleep pants and t-shirt, towelling off his damp curls. Carmen is perched on the edge of the bed, dressed in her outwear.

"That your hacker friend… Peter, right?"

"His real name's Player… uh… no, not _really_ , but it's what he goes by…" she trails off, realising how confusing that must sound, but Gray doesn't miss a beat.

"Huh, _Player_ … that's a good one. It's tough coming up with a decent codename. You know there was a pair of V.I.L.E agents called Flytrap and Spinkick?"

She laughs, forgetting her worries. Of course Graham _Crackle_ understands.

"Yes! We met. Can't say they were much of a challenge."

"For you? Who is?"

She smiles down at her hands. "I couldn't have done any of it without my team."

" _All_ of it, probably not… but _any_ of it… I said you were in a league of your own and you are, Carmen. You're something special… some _one_ special."

He shuffles close enough that she can track the droplets as they drip from his hair, rolling down his neck.

"I know we're not supposed to talk about it but… back with V.I.L.E, you were like a one woman army… you're incredible… don't undervalue yourself or your capabilities."

She expects the mention of V.I.L.E to trigger her guilt and it does, but not like before. Bile doesn't rise in her throat and her insides don't feel like they are being corroded by acid. Talking to Gray must have helped. Maybe she should embrace her trauma instead of trying to lock it away.

"I remember enough to know I wouldn't have gotten anywhere if you hadn't been watching my back… covering me through all my reckless stunts…"

His eyes slide to a spot over her shoulder. "You give me too much credit."

Carmen stands, snatching his hand so there is barely an inch between them. His eyes flit back to her face, wide with surprise and something she struggles to read.

"I trust you, Gray," she curls her fingers around his. "Jumping out of that plane, with the shields in New Zealand, even on the train to Paris I never believed you would really harm me. Whether you were with V.I.L.E or missing your memories, I trusted you, and that's not something I do easily."

She looks him in the eye, willing him to understand everything she is trying to convey.

"You trusted a random voice at the end of a stolen phone," he points out with a teasing grin.

She jerks in surprise. "That's not- !"

"How old is Player anyway?"

She grabs his arm. "You're missing the point."

He shakes free from her hold, dragging his hand through his hair. "No, I get it, Carmen, and it means a lot, really, but it's not…"

He sighs, his expression growing serious. Her stomach churns.

"I can't go to Argentina with you."

" _What?_ "

She staggers backwards, her legs hit the bed and she drops onto the mattress.

"Gray… is this… is this about last night?" She is mortified by the wobble in her voice.

"NO!" He exclaims then winces at the volume of his voice. "No, no, definitely not… I mean… sort of… but no… ACK! I'm explaining this all wrong."

He tugs at his hair in obvious distress.

She purses her lips. "Then why?"

He tries again, speaking slow as if turning each word over in his mind. "I can't go to Argentina with you… not without… without first being honest…" He takes a deep breath. "I… I care for you, Carmen… as more than a friend…"

The world tilts and she almost tips over the edge of the bed. Her heart hammers loud in her ears.

"What I feel for you… I don't really know how to describe it… guess I should start from the beginning…"

He hesitates, likely ordering the thoughts in his head. Carmen waits, unblinking, hardly daring to breathe.

"I joined V.I.L.E to become a better thief but instead I found you…" His eyes go distant, as if he is staring directly into the past, a fond expression transforming his face. "You were a livewire. Being near you was like an electric shock. You were leagues above us all with your fierce determination, your brilliant mind, and a wicked sense of humour. I don't remember ever laughing that hard before you."

He rubs the back of his neck and Carmen recalls the bashful youth who first introduced himself to her. So much has happened since then.

"You were my best friend, I trusted you more than I had anyone in a long-time. For so long I had only myself and then suddenly there you were, filling this hole in my life as if you were always meant to be there. I stopped thinking about _my_ future and started thinking about _our_ future. We were going to be a team, partners in crime. We'd have each other's back no matter what… but then… then…"

"I left," Carmen finishes, nails digging into the mattress.

"You left," he affirms. "I won't lie… it hurt like a kangaroo kick to the gut. I felt… _betrayed_ , you'd carved a place for yourself then run off like everyone else in my life."

"Gray," she has to interrupt. He looks so dejected, it is all she can do not to throw her arms around him and beg for forgiveness. "My one regret about escaping V.I.L.E was that I had to leave you behind. I would have taken you with me if I could."

He gives her a wry smile. "I would've only tried to stop you. It took me far too long to realise what was really important."

Her heart flutters as he shoots her a meaningful look.

"I understand now why you had to do it but at the time I was hurt. I buried that hurt behind anger. I missed you so bad, all I wanted was you back… so I set the trap in Poitiers."

He rolls his shoulders.

"It's stupid but back then I thought the only reason you'd left was to prove yourself and once you'd made your point you would be back. Obviously, you refused. It stung that our friendship wasn't enough to convince you. I shouldn't have attacked and I'm sorry for ever trying to hurt you."

She can't stand the wretched look on his face. "It's okay, Gray- "

"It's not. But thanks." He pushes the damp fringe from his eyes. "Losing you for a second time hurt even worse. Not that I felt that way for long, what with Bellum giving me the ol' memory zap."

He wiggles his fingers, miming a zap to the head.

Carmen's knuckles are bone white around the bedsheets. "If I'd known they would do that I never would have left you."

"I don't blame you for defending yourself." His voice is gentle, it makes the ache even worse.

"I didn't have to leave you like that!" She protests, rising partway off the bed "I could have… I could have taken you with me."

He gives a sad shake of the head. "It doesn't matter now… might've even been for the best. It helped me figure out some things…"

He looks at her, eyes rippling with an emotion she hardly dares name and she sinks back onto the mattress.

"Meeting you was the best thing to ever happen to me. Meeting you for a second time… well, I'm a lucky chump. You were a stunner, cheeky, and mysterious. I wanted to know you, a part of me felt like I already did." His lips twitch in dry amusement. "I could feel this connection, crackling between us, some sort of magnetic energy pulling me closer. I was heartbroken when you didn't make our date."

"So that _was_ a date…" Carmen murmurs.

He has the audacity to wink. "I'll do better if I'm ever lucky enough to get another shot."

Hope rings in his words and her breath catches.

"After our adventure in New Zealand… well, I was a goner. I didn't know how I could fall so fast for a person I hardly knew. Things made a lot more sense after A.C.M.E found me and revived my memory. I _did_ know you, I'd _always_ known you, and worst of all, I realised I love you."

_Love_

Her heart does a running leap, wedging itself in her throat, his words spinning round her head.

"Worst of all?"

He exhales, hunching in on himself. "I'd just been hit by more than a year's worth of memories. Turns out I wasn't the kind of guy I believed myself to be but rather the sort that enthusiastically joins shady criminal organisations with a robot army and a creepy lair in the Himalayas. Then on top of all that I'd fallen in love with my former best friend, who was doing all she could to bring down said organisation and crooks like me!"

He thrusts his hands in the air.

"So yeah I was overwhelmed and when you burst in with your _we're the good guys_ and _you're not that guy anymore_ all I could think was I am that guy… the lowlife who would never deserve you in a million years."

Carmen jolts at his harsh words, lurching fully off the bed. "That's not true! You're so much more, Gray!"

He shakes his head. "I've done bad things, picked the wrong paths. I deserve to rot in jail with the rest of V.I.L.E but instead you're here asking me to run away with you… Carmen… you have to understand…"

He takes a step towards her, hands hovering just short of touching her. She feels that familiar charge pulsing between them, red calling for blue.

"I love being with you, trading quips, hearing you laugh. I want to be there for you, through your nightmares and meeting your mum. I want to give you what you need and become someone you deserve, but I can't keep pretending I don't want you… th-that I'm not staring at your lips wondering how they would feel on mine… trying to keep my fingers from reaching for yours, wanting to hold you, feel the warmth of you against me, to lie down, anchored by your weight and know you love me too."

He drops his hands and squeezes his eyes shut. When he opens them again they are swimming with regret and longing.

"I can't follow you to Argentina just to break both our hearts. You mean too much to me to lose you like that. I needed to tell you now so we're both on the same page. If all you see me as is a friend then I will be your friend but I can't go with you now. To be so close and not express what I feel, it's impossible, I'm sorry."

He bows his head, signalling the end of his speech. Silence settles.

Carmen sweeps it aside. "And if I want what you want… as more than a friend… what then?"

His express morphs in surprise and _there_ , in those brown-gold eyes, the faintest flicker of hope. She takes a step forward, closing the distance between them.

"Gray…" she takes his hand, cradling it to the crook of her neck. "Stay with me."

His fingers flex against her skin, his voice rough. "Carmen… what… what are you saying?"

"I struggle to form bonds the way normal people do. V.I.L.E discouraged personal attachments; they taught me people were marks, to be used and discarded as necessary. Love was a liability. Even now I have to fight against that mindset, not to simply cut and run when people get too close." She squeezes his hand. "You were the first person I didn't want to lose."

She hears Gray's intake of air.

"And the irony was… I kept losing you anyway, over and over."

He lets out a shuddering breath. "I'm sorry I hurt you."

"I'm sorry _I_ hurt _you_."

She releases his hand; he leaves it there, caressing the spot where her pulse quivers. Her fingers curl into his shirt, tugging him closer. She looks down, the heat of his body so close to her own.

"I don't know how to do this… _any_ of this… but I want to be with you… I want to try…"

"Carmen…"

He is so close. His hand secure at her shoulder, the other grasps her waist.

"Don't let go," she begs and presses her lips to his.

Sparks fizz through her nervous system, lighting up like a Christmas tree. The first kiss is tentative, unsure. The second is electric as Gray overcomes his surprise, responding with enthusiasm. His hand slides to cup her cheek, adjusting the angle so his mouth slots against hers, guiding their movements with all his experience.

His kiss sizzles on her tongue, for once her stance is weak as she melts into him. There is a third, fourth, _fifth_ kiss before they ease apart, gulping down air, eyes locked on one another, foreheads pressed together.

"So…" Carmen pants.

" _So?_ " Gray smirks.

"Will you come to Argentina?"

"Hmmm, let me think…"

He topples them backwards onto the bed, landing on top of her with a wicked grin.

"Gr-Gray…!" She laughs.

He presses his lips to her forehead and the walls around her heart crumble.

"No way am I letting you go now."

Carmen finds she is alright with that.

-v-v-v-

They board the plane to Buenos Aires, hand-in-hand.

Once seated, Carmen rests her head on Gray's shoulder, listening to the steady intake and outtake of his breathing. For the first time since before she was captured, her head is quiet, her heart is light, and she drifts into peaceful slumber.


End file.
